Tough Times
So I must apologize for the lack of posts lately. Its been a rough time. My 15 year old discovered the wonders of drinking alcohol. NOT a good combination with depression and anxiety! Between finding this out, and having a difficult time with my boss at work, I quit my job. I really felt that I was needed more at home. I have always struggled with being a working mother with my kids needs, and this was finally the straw that broke the camels back.
This may have been a good idea if we had another way to keep our insurance and keep food on the table! Marks work is managing to keep the food there, but the bills are piling up and without insurance I have been without my antidepressant for a month now.
So now what do I do?!?!?
I am in the process of getting a per diem job, and that will most definitely help! But as we come into summer, with my 18 year old becoming less interested in his family, my 15 year old wanting to hang out with his friends (and apparently drink) and my 9 year old becoming more and more obsessed with video games how do I rationalize to my heart that I need to work when I really feel that raising these boys should be the most important job I can do??? At the same time how do I rationalize in my brain that being homeless is not a good way to raise boys either??
So here I am in a quandry. And in a VERY guilty way, I am enjoying not working! I've been doing housework, cooking real meals, actually spending time with the kids. I'm even chaparoning field trips this month! It feels SOOOO good, and SOOOO bad at the same time!
I'm a bit confused!
So while I try to sort out my unmedicated emotions, I will try to get back on the stick and post some blogs, I know that I have neglected my internet family, and I am so sorry for that! You would think that with all this spare time on my hands I'd be writing more huh?!?!
Thank you all for your understanding!
Peace!
This may have been a good idea if we had another way to keep our insurance and keep food on the table! Marks work is managing to keep the food there, but the bills are piling up and without insurance I have been without my antidepressant for a month now.
So now what do I do?!?!?
I am in the process of getting a per diem job, and that will most definitely help! But as we come into summer, with my 18 year old becoming less interested in his family, my 15 year old wanting to hang out with his friends (and apparently drink) and my 9 year old becoming more and more obsessed with video games how do I rationalize to my heart that I need to work when I really feel that raising these boys should be the most important job I can do??? At the same time how do I rationalize in my brain that being homeless is not a good way to raise boys either??
So here I am in a quandry. And in a VERY guilty way, I am enjoying not working! I've been doing housework, cooking real meals, actually spending time with the kids. I'm even chaparoning field trips this month! It feels SOOOO good, and SOOOO bad at the same time!
I'm a bit confused!
So while I try to sort out my unmedicated emotions, I will try to get back on the stick and post some blogs, I know that I have neglected my internet family, and I am so sorry for that! You would think that with all this spare time on my hands I'd be writing more huh?!?!
Thank you all for your understanding!
Peace!
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